I never had the balls to play live. In fact most of my music never even gets played to the family. In the past they’ve sat there, obviously wanting to enthuse about my 8 minute noisescape with babies screaming and the sample of an alarm clock chiming away but the reality is they just don’t hear sound in the same way as myself. I rather feel a live audience would just sit there, nervously looking at each other before simply getting up and walking away.
Music should be about exploration. Songwriters explore their emotions, or explore the ways to document what they’ve witnessed. Ambient and experimental musicians explore what happens when jarring sounds smash together like a motorcyclist’s two testicles after he hits one of Southampton’s many potholes. That little sound he made, that’s the sound I need!
I am very much of the opinion that all music is valid. I can’t stand Deadma45 (or whatever his moniker is) or Bieber… but if someone ultimately is getting some form of enjoyment, I may take the piss, but really I don’t mind. If it makes you happy. Eating jaffa cakes until I’m sick, that personally makes me happy.
The above piece of music is an example of my more “out there” compositions. I think to myself “could this be used as a sound track to some emotional or textural motif in a horror movie” etc.
Then sometimes I want to document how I audibly see modern culture. The culture of everyone wanting everything now, the stress of modern society. Fleeting glimpses of beauty mixed with dark discomfort. Modern Americana seems to have that in spades. It is a culture all of its own.
Often I use techniques such as granular synthesis. Or looping small samples of other tracks I’ve recorded. Adding in classical strings and a modular synth sound added gravitas to the chaos. The universe is destined to fall into disrepair its not truly chaos but it can feel like that, or seem like that. That is what I sometimes feel I have to write musically, a soundscape to entropy.